‘Doing’ the dishes with @DyslexicAtheist

That moment when you put dirty dishes in the washer next to the fresh cleaned ones …? There are several ways to handle such a crisis. But remembering to stay calm is most important to prevent the worst.

dishes1

Follow these rules:

1) Continue with what you started and finish loading, knowing that the clean dishes will be even cleaner.

2) Dishes don’t get a lot of excitement and cupboard life can be like being doomed to life in the countryside. So dish washer time means party time and is really their favourite moment of the day (or even week for some of these poor mugs in the back).

3) Our dearest plates and mugs are often cracked and faded in colour. Even when worn out like Mick Jagger and Iggy Pop, the battle scars on these old friends remind us of glorious past times. To prolong their life gently wash and massage them like you would do to a random elderly stranger in a retirement home, who insists he doesn’t know you!

4) Never allow your expensive silver or glassware in the foam-disco. It would be like organizing a rave-party for epileptics. Chances are they come back not quite the same.

5) Whenever you organize your foam disco, ensure to separate not just for different age-groups but also cater for the vastly varying character types. The greasy fork will usually lower the tone with their dirty-talk and try to poke and ravage anything next to them. So keep them confined throughout if possible (and far away from the petite desert spoons).

6) You don’t want to become known for organizing orgies so pre-rinse your dirtiest and greasiest dishes. Always use Calgon™ to keep the fun safe.

dishes3

7) Washing-up by hand is like a wellness holiday for them. But soak them properly first to loosen them up. Articulating to your dirty dishes every little step you’re going to perform on them next, can help with trust and get them into the mood for a good scrub later. Make sure you use a non-abrasive brush when giving them a good “once-over”, before finally moving them to rinse and dry. Some people turn on the music and whistle or sing along. Whatever you need to keep the act cheerful!

About these ads
This entry was posted in disgusted, musings and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to ‘Doing’ the dishes with @DyslexicAtheist

  1. That moment when you put dirty dishes in the washer next to the fresh cleaned ones …? There are several ways to handle such a crisis. But remembering to stay calm is most important to prevent the….

  2. Pingback: 'Doing' the dishes with @DyslexicAtheist | Dysl...

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s