I’m from Fucking, Austria

Fucking Austria

Despite having a population of only 104, our village has become famous for its name in the English-speaking world. Its road signs are a popular visitor attraction, and were often stolen by souvenir-hunting tourists until 2005, when they were modified to be theft-resistant.

Theft of our road signs is the only crime which has ever been reported in our village. It cost some 300 Euros to replace each stolen sign, and the costs were reflected in the taxes that we pay. So in 2004, owing mainly to the stolen signs, a vote was held on changing the village’s name, but we voted against doing so. Our mayor Siegfried Höppl stated that it was decided to keep the name as it had existed for 800 years, and further stated that:

“Everyone here knows what it means in English, but for us Fucking is Fucking— and it’s going to stay Fucking.”

Mayor Höppl said that officials were fed up with English-speaking Fucking visitors stealing the signs, and noted that with the newly installed signs it would take all night to steal one. Höppl said that visitors, and the money they bring to the area, were welcome, but locals were sick of replacing the Fucking signs. Police chief, Schmitzberger stated,

“We will not stand for the Fucking signs being removed. It may be very amusing for you British, but Fucking is simply Fucking to us. What is this big Fucking joke? It is puerile.”

We also have other funny places in Austria, such as “Äußere Einöde”, which translates to “outer solitude” and it’s a lonesome place in Carinthia. Carinthia’s main export is rednecks and we like to ship them into politics and to Vienna where they luckily then tend to soften. This is essentially the part of Austria from which our famous cross-dressing, openly-gay, right wing politician Jörg Haider was from.

Äussere Einoede

The German word “Einöde” is usually used to describe a place that is absolutely boring and has nothing on offer! The locals (all 206 of them) are a little sensitive to people getting out of the car taking pictures of their sign. But whatever their reservations towards city-folk, they’re well known for their unique cuisine called the “Faustnudel” (fist-noodle).

faustnudel

Great variations of the fist-noodle“, which is not what one might assume, a local version of “bashing-the-gurkin” or “spanking the bishop”, but a culinary speciality from our area.

 

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2 Responses to I’m from Fucking, Austria

  1. Pingback: I'm from Fucking, Austria | Dyslexic Atheist | ...

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