Susan ‘Siri’ Bennett, a voice-over-actor from Atlanta came forward and confirmed that she was the real voice behind Apple’s ‘Siri’. In a short interview we were able to discuss with her the true motives for coming forward.
DyslexicAtheist: Mrs. Bennett, thank you for agreeing to talk to us on such short notice.
Bennett: It is OK. What would you like to know?
DyslexicAtheist: Well first of all how can we be sure that we’re really talking to Susan and not to Siri from an iPhone?
Bennet: I appreciate your concern though I can guarantee that both my husband and myself have switched to Android many years ago. We’ve banned all Apple devices in our home.
DyslexicAtheist: Why is that?
Bennett: Well, you have to understand, … my husband is the jealous type. He simply can’t stand the thought of nerds, making fun of me or (heaven forbid) talking dirty to their Siri’s. Also there is plenty of evidence in the media that Siri has become kind of a replacement girlfriend for many geeks. This has been very difficult for my husband to accept. He struggles with the idea of nerds taking out their phone on a date.
DyslexicAtheist: And for you Mrs. Bennett?
Bennett: My reason for switching to Android is because talking to Siri confuses the f**k out of me (pardon my French)! It’s like I’m talking to myself! It’s just weird and crazy asking *myself* for directions to the nearest restaurant.
DyslexicAtheist: For sure …
Bennett: … And it’s even more annoying when Siri doesn’t understand what I’m saying. Also Siri can be such a bitch sometimes. But I don’t believe I’m like that in reality! But when people then agree that it does sounds exactly like me I wonder if my friends also consider me a bitch? … I hope not but it makes me kind of insecure and sad. … So this is why we banned all Apple devices from our home. The voice of Siri brings too much negativity into our house and marriage.
DyslexicAtheist: I see. Now that you came forward, how has this personally affected your situation?
Bennett: Well on the upside I can finally apply for this job in that call-centre which I always wanted. Because you see, … that ‘gig’ with Apple was actually supposed to be a one-off thing, … just until my application came through with the call centre. But I got rejected on the grounds that I sounded just like Siri. The hiring manager at the call centre stated “most calling customers wouldn’t believe that there was actually a ‘real’ person on the other end if I picked up the phone.” Also most people dislike talking to a machine.
DyslexicAtheist: kind of understandable because most automated systems suck.
Bennet: Yes. So this is a common problem for all us voice-over-actors wanting to break into a career in a call-enter! But now they will hire me because I can simply say: Susan Bennett speaking and people will be so happy for getting a chance to speak to me. I’m kind of a celebrity now
DyslexicAtheist: So it has mostly turned out positive in the end?
Bennett: Yes and no. On the downside I now have people with a rather unhealthy relationship to their phone, camping outside my house. Horny nerds in love with their devices hoping to catch a glimpse of me. Shudder. For them it’s like ‘their imaginary girlfriend has come to life’. They leave quite a mess too in my yard!
DyslexicAtheist: Do you think you can ever go back to a normal life?
Bennett: It has to, because Apple improved Siri a lot on newer models by using different voice-over-actors who can also properly do those exotic foreign accent like Jersey or ‘Australian’.
DyslexicAtheist: Apple has been pretty secretive as usual. So we thank you for providing us with this infos Mrs Bennett. This concludes our interview.
DyslexicAtheist: I sincerely thank you for your time Mrs. Bennett.
Bennett: It is now 16:34 EST
DyslexicAtheist: What, … WTF!