Several new varieties of the Higgs-Boson particles have been discovered inside the handbag of Anna Recksiek, a Human Resource officer at CERN.
Mrs Recksiek was about to leave the facility and got flagged when going through a routine security check on the way out. She was unaware how the particles ended up insider her handbag, nor how long they had already been there.
Upon closer inspection of the bags weight/size ratio, researchers noted some unusual properties which could not be explained with mathematics. Upon further sampling of different handbags from other women in the facility they found that handbags break two fundamental laws of physics — Einstein’s laws of relativity and quantum mechanics and so should not exist.
While men have long been puzzled by women’s handbags no formal research has ever been conducted. Pending further study, handbags may provide answers to vital questions in Quantum-Physics and even challenge established theories on the Space-Time-Continuum.
[EDIT] Dr. Harry Boyle, a leading researcher at CERN, said that in several handbag studies that followed, the discovery of at least 2-3 particles was almost eminent. The Higgs-Boson occurs much more frequently than thought and in fact most of them prefer to exist in handbags.
[EDIT] In light of the new evidence Stephen Hawking just announced: “There are no black holes. Also women handbags might be a gateway to different dimensions (wormholes).” Hawking also started working on a new paper called A History of Handbags over Time.”