On the road with DyslexicAtheist (tripping through Europe)

Today I rented a Citroen C3 to drive the route Monaco->Milan->Zurich->Munich.

I never drove a Citroen before – Expectations neutral.


I searched for #infotainment and found the only entertainment being the windscreen wipers.

Windscreen_wipers_2766175bDriving is not much fun in this car. If you want adrenaline then bring your phone so you can raise the pulse by #texting while driving. Note to self: Drivers of French cars are never to be trusted.

textingAround Milan, Italy I decided to join a friendly convoy of Dutch camper-vans who seem to also lack infotainment. #lifeonthefastlane

campervanAfter following the group for a while, the Dutch camper-van people have now officially accepted me as one of theirs. #happy #trailerparkconvoy

Dutch campervan guys are nice and speak a funny German dialect (presumably Dutch). They decided I’m their chosen one. I shall marry their eldest daughter at the next petrol station. #gettingworried

I decided to bolt. Trying to lose the Dutch and their campers in my Citroen feels like the shittiest version of a gum-ball race ever.

Managed to lose the Dutch but am now being followed by old people in a beige #Daewoo … Can’t shake them off and losing them is a real challenge. They seemed to have had training in GTA-4.

Senior couple having fun playing video games.After 500km I’m wondering if people would ever spend money on tuning a ‘Citroen Picasso’. It must be like putting chocolate sprinkles on dog poo. #bored

dog_pooI’ve now crossed into Switzerland and paid their road-tax, which seems like a politically correct version of #nazigold (#lifeonthefastlane in a rental #Citroen #C3)

Stopped for a cheeky wee and stumbled onto a Swiss dogging site … Became a spectator! Dogging seems fun and more innocent than I assumed! #Citroen

doggingInuit have more than 20 words for snow. The Swiss have more than 1000 words for #boring.

Stopped to get some gas in Switzerland. Found #IggyPOP working at the petrol station. He said the pay was lousy but was hooked on the fumes.

popNothing interesting on the radio … I’m wondering if they have zombies in Sweden and Finland … And if they got them, are they called “Nordic Walkers” ? #wondering #TheWalkingDead


Picked up a hitch-hiker to keep me company. He notices the lack of entertainment and started to sing for me. #nice

Hitch-hiker just fell asleep. Too tired from all the singing. He has a kind face and a big bushy beard. Looks peaceful.

Trying to find a radio station and wondering if road-rage incidents are related to number of 80ies songs aired? #NostalgiaFM pushing me closer to the edge every time I stumble over their frequency.

roadrageStarting to nod off at the wheel. Almost hit a blind guy and his dog crossing the road. Reminds me to never get a #Labrador. Most people who buy those seem to eventually end up getting blind.

guide-dogStopped to get some ice cream. #HäagenDazs Mint-Leaves & Chocolate. It tastes like brushing teeth! Wondering why they don’t make all tooth-paste out of ice cream.

Food from petrol station is giving me gas so I’m opening the window. Slightly smelly but cabriolet feeling all around. #Citroen #C3

Finally I arrive at my hotel. Coincidentally this is also where the hitch-hiker works and his shift is about to start. Very tired I check in and immediately fall asleep.

I have the most boring dream ever: I am the boy in “The Life of Pi”. But instead of a tiger I’m on the boat with a cow.


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One Response to On the road with DyslexicAtheist (tripping through Europe)

  1. Pingback: On the road with @DyslexicAtheist | Dyslexic At...

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