You’ve probably been there: a new job, a new baby, an injury, life happens, and you find yourself taking a long break from drinking. When you finally begin going out again, your body just doesn’t feel right – your head hurts, your stomach is acting up, and you feel like you’re going to hurt something.
So when you’re trying to get back into shape after a substantial break from drinking-related activities, should you ease into it or should you dive in headfirst and shock your system? Whether you’ve been inspired by a New Years resolution gone wrong, a lifelong ban from your favourite pub, or a pointless day job, this article will show you some techniques of how to get back into shape quickly and safely after a long abstinence.
Join an Irish Yoga class! While there are several regional variations, such as Scottish or French Yoga, the Irish version is most popular among purists. There are many local training classes being conducted all over the world at places named “Muddy Murphies” or “Killigan’s”. Regularly attending sessions should help you get safe through St. Patrick’s day.
Tip: train on Monday afternoons to meet well seasoned veterans who may be willing to coach you (check at the bar or the rest rooms).
The Russian version of Irish Yoga uses Vodka or moonshine and is among the hardest of all the disciplines. Don’t start with this one but keep your mind focused on it as an eventual goal.
The “Withnail and I” is an English method in which you watch the film “Withnail and I” and drink whenever the leading character drinks.
Note: the traffic cone in the left of the picture. It often appears out of nowhere the next morning. It is said to provide clues that help piece back the events from the previous night.
Regardless of your age or feelings towards the artist, watch the Justin Bieber movie “Never say Never”. Make sure to bring a large bottle of JB. Take a drink any time you feel like he deserves a punch in the tits. The movie will turn into a 3D film about halfway through. Don’t let frequent fights among viewers stop you from having sex with somebody half or twice your age in a public bathroom during viewing.
I’d like to thank my friends for their help and support during these tough training sessions. Cheers.