The Code from Ipanema’s not working

If programming is like art, implementing business logic is elevator music.

Ipanema Code - The Bossa Nova Cookbook

use EverySingleFuckingModelFromCPAN;
#use strict;
#use warnings;

print <<IPANEMA

Fat and bloated and slow and unstructured and buggy 
The code from Ipanema gets committed
And when tests she not passes, each one she not passes 
We goes "A-r-r-g-h" 
When she crashes she's like totally trashes
When she crashes, she's like totally trashes
What loads, swaps and alloc()'s forever?
That when tests she not passes, each one she not passes 
We goes "A-r-r-g-h" 
Oh, but I watch her so angry 
Must tell her I loath her 
No, I won't give my time gladly 
But each day as I try not to see 
Always lurks in my repo, straight ahead right at me! 
Fat and bloated and slow and unstructured and buggy, ...
The code from Ipanema's not working
And when she passes, I smile, but Jenkins didn't see.  
Jenkins just didn't see 
No, he just didn't see

carp croak cluck confess and fucking die
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